What else has happened? Well I went to six flags with my youth group had a blast. BUTTON MAN!!
I kept the Rabbi's dog while he was away. The rabbi has a pool and I like to swim BUT it was not the right temperature. in fact it was bloody cold. I wanted to wait till after school hours to go swimming but fell asleep and didn't go till four or five in the afternoon. It was extremely chilly outside and I was shivering in my Bathing suit before I even got in the pool (I get cold easy) any normal person would have turned away but I was determined and I knew my sister would rib me for chickening out. I got on the far side of the pool and readied myself. It took a long time to build up the courage to jump into the icy water, I stood at the edge of the pool what felt like an hour but it was probably only five minuets. When I gathered the courage I jumped! and ladies and gentlemen let me tell you it was cold. The breath was knocked out of me as soon as I hit the water and I felt like an eternity before I surfaced again and even longer to get across the pool. It was a lot of fun and what not and now I am tired of posting. Good bye.

Well, well, well, I think I have set a new record for longest time without posting. Oh well I shall bring you up to date.
My brother and his wife came down for Sukkot and we went camping played an awe inspiring prank on Marli (my sister in law) involving dark woods a clown mask and a little bit of planing. The moment of inspiration was when I beheld a "scary" clown mask in wally world I bought it and waited till the camping trip. I asked my brother if I could play a prank on his wife he yes and further more he said he would help me. We waited till it was dark, I pretended to go into the woods to urinate my brother asked Marli to get a bottle of water from the tent that I was hiding behind. When she got close enough I ran out from behind the tent and passed her roaring. she screamed and cursed at me, (ha ha very funny but I wasn't done she didn't notice the mask) As she was having her fit I snuck up behind her and got as close as I could. When she turned around we were face to face. Now one thing you must know is that Marli is terrified of clowns so the effect was incredible. She did not scream (at first) she gasped a look of shear terror crossed her face, she turned so white she practically glowed in the night. although Marli is afraid of of clowns she is a big fan of the Joker from the dark night movie, so after the completely terrified stage, when she started screaming I said that cute little quote from the movie "Why so serious" oh it was marvelous fun but it gets better.
After she was done pounding me in the chest she went to my brother for support. I slipped him the mask and he put it on then put his head in his lap so she couldn't see the mask. When she went for comfort she got another scare. My brother and I laughed our heads off.
Later my brother and I got lost and thought we were on the appilation trail halfway to Georgia. we were actually only about five or six miles from camp but it gave us a good scare.
It was a fun trip and I hope we do it again soon.

I will update more later.

Ian

Here are some compleatly random pictures.

So here we are again, the high holidays are approaching and its almost time to start looking back on what we've done, or haven't done. This year has been a big one, well, at least for me. I started my Jewish journey by converting, I had my tonsils removed, I loved, fought, lost and prevailed, I've done good and bad, been happy, enraged, confused, and sad. I think over all its been the most insane year I have had (but I am positive I'll have many more to come) its had its ups and downs but never a dull moment.
Now as I look back I think of every time I hurt, or offended someone. In the weeks leading up to Yom Kippur your supposed to ask forgiveness of the people you've hurt. This for me is hard, my pride and anger get in the way and I think "That wasn't wrong he deserved it." Pride is a pain in the butt, but that's what Yom Kippur is about looking back at the wrong things you've done and making sure you don't do it again.
May G-d be with us all as we work towards making this coming year better than the last.

I know its a little early but it was on my mind so what can I say.

hey, hey, hey. whats going on my cronies. I must admit it has been a while since I have even been on my blog. why?
work. Yes Ian has entered the realm of the responsible, working, adult, world. or maybe I have just stuck my head in the door.
beyond that my weeks have been pretty full.
on the fourth we went to an old Friend of my Dad's house. He built a half pipe and we skated it all week end. my knee caps are still scraped. Thanks David!
other than that I got in front of every one at shul and gave a teaching/speech thingy last Friday.
I am off to work now so keep it cool. I leave you with a heart felt poem.

Good bye so long but hopefully not for long

I shall return for I know you yearn

for what I have to say

wow I need more sleep

Tefillin

I put on my Tefillin for the first time this morning and it was amazing (shout out to my boy Rabbi Kramer for getting me and Dad each a pair, thanks). The Tefillin came with a DVD, it had people talking about what Tefillin meant to them. Each person said something different, but the one thing that was said that stuck with me through out my whole morning prayers was that, the act of putting on the Tefillin is literally bonding yourself to G-d, and before I put them on I didn't understand but it is the most profound thing. When you wrap the Tefillin around your fingers you say "I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you with righteousness with Justice, with love and with compassion. I will betroth you to me with faithfulness and you shall love the Lord." In doing this you are betrothing your self to G-d every morning. Like I have said in previous posts you can't just read about it you have to experience it.
Another thing the DVD talked about was that the first thoughts in the morning are the most important. When you put on the Tefillin you kind of set the pace for the rest of the day. And there is no better pace to set than that of bonding you self to G-d.

Jew Boy out!

NEW POST!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while I've been out. (Nothing serious just surgery)
So what to talk about... Ah the light of my life, the life preserver that keeps my head above water, the food and water for my soul and mind. Yes the magical substance I am talking about is religion. The thing that keeps insanity at bay and clears away the confusion of the world (or at least part of it).
Now not all religions can do this in fact in my opinion only one, the one, you guessed it Judaism. Oh-yeah!
Judaism is a full body religion, an experience, you have to live Judaism to understand it, books are good, great really. but when it comes to certain things you have to experience them in order to understand them. And oh how I am experiencing Judaism!
Every time I turn around there is something else to love about Judaism. Holding the Torah, an Alliah picking fruit, yes even picking fruit is an experience. There is something about, having a certain prayer for every thing that makes life that much more meaningful.
Every morning, every night, every meal, it all has meaning and its wonderful, fantastic.
Well that's enough of my raving for a while.

Oh I almost forgot, my surgery was very minor I just got my tonsils removed, and I don't want to hear anyone telling me that its bad or that the doctors just do it for the money. I don't care its already been done. More on that later.

Live long and prosper.

Jewish

I'm Jewish! Yesterday was my Hatafat dam Brit (The poking bit, I wont go into details) then I went in the mikvah followed by a ceremony where I held the Torah for the first time as a Jew, said Shema for the first time as a Jew and was Blessed with my name Nachman Ovadya "compassionate servant of G-d".
Words alone cannot begin to explain the over whelming joy that pulses through my very soul right now. last night and this morning I said my prayers as a Jew and it was amazing like I said I can't explain it.
Tomorrow I am going to weekly minion and Saturday I will have my first Aliah, Life is good!

Confession and withdrawal

Have you ever done something every day for a long time, so long it became a habit. Something you thought about all day and looked forward to. Then suddenly Bam something happens and you can't do it any more. You wake up with it on your mind you wait for a break in your day when you will be free to do it and when that break comes you're ready, you're exited then it hits you, you can no longer do that thing which brings you pleasure.
I do not do drugs of any kind I don't smoke drink (alcohol) or have a serious addiction to caffeine (although I do like a Pepsi every now and then) or any other harmful substance. But I am a uni junkie, there I said it I, its my way of getting away. Its just as much of a novelty as riding a bike or a skateboard. When I have had a rough day or my siblings have been loud (which is every day) I like to ride down the road and jump off of things. And nothing feels better than taking a hot shower after riding for a long time, especially when you get hurt (which is quite often).
Any way my unicycle is broken its had several complications and I'm at my wits end. I NEED to get it fixed before I lose my mind!!!!

Uni junkie out :(

Passover

Ah its that time of year again you know what I'm talking about. The bland food, the cracker crumbs. Passover is here.
So far my Passover has been pretty good. For the first Seder we went to the Rabbi's house. In all there were about twenty people at the Seder and we knew them all for the most part. I really enjoyed the Seder, it was entertaining (yes a Seder I didn't fall a sleep during) funny and meaningful all in one. The Hagada the Rabbi used this year was called "A Different Night" I forgot who wrote it but whom ever he is he got tired of the stereo typical boring Seder and made a new Seder for the A.D.D. in all of us. Anyway everyone had a great time and I really felt like a part of the community.
We have been volunteering as much as we can at the Shul, and right before Passover there's a whole lot to do. So we've been kind of getting in the community a little more which is nice. The people at Shul seem to be excepting us, some even want me to go out with their daughters but we wont go into details.
Yep conversion time is just around the corner and it feels like crunch time, I'm not worrying about the needle or about taking a bath in front of a witness. I am worrying about the Beit Din, I think I will be okay about the heart questions but if they ask any factual questions, I will either freeze up or not know the answer. Mom keeps telling me its not a test its just a inquiry to see if I really want to convert for the right reasons. I know I shouldn't worry but what can you do?
I really hope people don't think that I am converting because of my parents. I am doing this for me I have always wanted to convert and I have always loved Judaism, this is my decision. I am not really an excitable person and I don't openly show my emotions so I don't want it to look like I am going through this like a robot I am extremely exited and I have never wanted something so bad.
I hope everyone enjoys their season of flavorless crackers that spread crumbs all over the house and dry out your mouth. Hag Samayoch.

Peace out.

Ian Cauthen

P.S. did anyone else forget to count the Omer on the second night? My bad.

Fiction turned religion

Its interesting to think of the changes one goes through as his or her life progresses. Every thing changes as you "grow up" from your hair style to your music choice, even what you like to eat. My life has always been on an axis centered around Judaism. When I was very young we left Christianity and when to Judaism, no jesus, no church we had nothing to do with it. But we didn't have Friends or community the shul we went to was too far away and we hadn't yet really got into the Conservative movement. We still had Friends in the our old congregation so we went back and got sucked back into Christianity. Its strange how easy it is to slip into some thing when your comfortable. Any way we're back and here to stay (and no one is going to change my mind, if you want you can go on a crusade but it'll only cause you strife. I'm a nice guy till you mess with my religion) here and here to stay. No procrastinating nothing to get in the way.
Okay I've gotten off subject originally I was going to talk about something else; but what can you do. When I sat down at the computer I was going to write about a non religious subject but you know I guess some thing else was on my mind.

Stay tuned because next episode Ian is going to talk about what he initially wanted to talk about, the changes in his choice in fiction and a little about the future.

Purim

As I have previously mentioned I am studying for conversion. The other day I was in class and the rabbi was talking about the holidays in detail, he had them all written down on a chart in order one after the other. I was late and missed the first part but I came in in time to hear about Purim. He asked the question, "What is the miracle of Purim?" Well everyone had a different answer; that we survived Haman's evil plot, or that Esther actually became queen, bla bla bla. These weren't the answers the Rabbi was looking for.

The miracle of Purim was that we acted on our own. Esther is the only book of the bible that does not mention God, sure you can say he's in the shadows changing things around to help us out but really he isn't in there. And that's the beauty of Purim we actually got it right. We didn't need God to do everything for us. Well that's to say that God had a passive roll instead of an active roll.

So I got to thinking that the history of the Jews is just like a life cycle of us humans.

In the Exodus we were children God had to do everything for us. He had to pick a leader, force the leader to talk, convinced the Pharaoh to let them go, and defeated the Pharaohs army when they attacked us. We did nothing but walk and wipe blood on our door lintels.

Then as we wondered around in the desert we were like two year olds constantly whining and complaining. God even had to hold the Mountain over our heads in order to make us except the Torah.

On and on throughout Torah we behave like children, God had to do everything for us and even had to punish us from time to time.

But when we get to the story of Esther we've grown up a bit. I'm not saying we don't need God its more like when a father is teaching a child how to ride a bike. The father pushes the child and then lets the child go, the child will go for a while then fall, without the father to hold them up and push them the child cannot stay on the bike. But finally the father lets go and the child rides forward and learns to ride with the father keeping watch and giving a little help when needed.

I thought this was interesting but that's just me.

fear

I was mowing the grass yesterday and I came up with a new book idea. (I know I should finish the rest of the books I've started but whatever.) Anyway, the book is called Fearless and its just a concept right now but it shall evolve.

So now my adoring fans you are the first to read a (Very) very rough draft of an excerpt from

Fearless

"Every day all over the world people are born with a birth defect. Some are born without arms or legs, some without kidneys or any other organ or limb. Still others are born with a mental defect with varying details. John Doe (As I said so far its just a concept so the main character does not yet have a name.) was even more unfortunate than any of these. Some would argue that this isn't a defect that it is a plus or a power. They would be wrong for John Doe was born without fear.

Now fear isn't something we normally dwell on. Oh sure when something frightens us all we can think of is fear. But they are very basic, primal thoughts of survival not really thinking about what fear is.

If we didn't have fear we wouldn't have many things usually thought to be separate from fear. Without fear there wouldn't be a moral conscience, we would have no perception of "good and bad" and religiously speaking no belief in a higher power. For if we break it down a bit what is a moral conscience? The answer is simply the fear of getting caught or the fear of what people will think or do. And religion is the fear of an almighty.

So our John Doe has lived his life without any guidance what so ever. An unpleasant life indeed.

So what do you think? Am I crazy or stupid?

Wizards and Dragons

Hello my adoring fans! Sorry its been awhile since I posted but what can you do?


The other day I was working for Mrs. C Pulling apart some strange apparatus when boholdith me a foul serpent.


Now first let me say that the phobia of snakes runs deep in my family. I have memories from when I was a small child of my father running away from the no legged fiends. This has been handed down to me unfortunately. When I see or hear of a snake my heart stops I shake I sweat and I run. My Mother is not afraid of snakes and usually is the one who saved my father from them. She would get this savage look in her eyes and would charge the serpent with various weapons. For instance Shovels axes hoes (the garden tool you fool) and what ever Else she could get her hands on.


One memory sticks out. It was late at night, we were wakened by the screaming of chickens. Me and mama ran to check it out lo and behold there was a snake in the chicken coop. I held the flash light in trebling hands. As momma beat the thing to death with a very dull axe.


Scarred me for life that night did.


Well back to the main topic. I was prying apart the apparatus when I saw a snake only a foot from my hand. I shouted (I will not say what. for I fear in my primitive terror I forgot my manners)


I ran from the nightmare but had a sudden surge of courage at the sight of an old shovel.


I shall now slip into nerdome and tell the story as it played out in my head.


The Wizard (nerd) took up his staff (shovel) and charged his foe. The Dragon (Snake) raised its foul head and roared. (Hissed) the Wizard (Nerd) swung his staff (shovel) missing the Dragon (Snake) by a long shot. As the Dragon (Snake) charged the Wizard (Nerd) retreated, a string of curses spilling from his lips. After a moment the Wizard (Nerd) regained his courage and charged again this time piercing the Dragons (Snake's) head. after repeatedly beating the Dragon (Snake) till his staff (Shovel) broke the Wizard (Nerd) grabbed another one and paraded around the village (Yard) holding the Dragons (Snake's) body aloft.


All this really happened and after I was done parading I burned the snake. so that leaves the score for this year.

Wizard 1 Dragons 0

Post at ya later

Nerd out!

pain

A lot of people say that unicycling isn't extreme, well look at this!










No, I wasn't attacked by a rabid squirrel or by zombies, it was my unicycle.













I was jumping off of something (on my unicycle) when my foot slipped, the rest is gravity.

Me

Well I guess since I have a blog I should actually post.
I'll just start with the basics of what I like to do.
Probably the number one thing I do is read. If I start a good book I will get nothing done. I have always been into science fiction and fantasy until I discovered something that changed my life forever. The classics! Now I read Charles Dickens, Edgar Allen Poe, and Albert Camus. Don't get me wrong I'll still read Hubbard or Tolkien every now and then, but the mastery of the Classics is unbeatable.

My other obsession is writing, I know it's the classic -nerd reads book and says "hey, I can do that!"- story, but alas that is me.
I am not a very good writer, my stories are dull and my characters are flimsy, but I enjoy it, its therapeutic for me.
Another problem I have with writing is that I always start a new book before I finish the last one. The result is that I have about ten unfinished books on my computer in note books or just on stray pieces of paper.
I think, hope, that one day I will finish a book and publish, maybe.

To further my nerdiness I am a juggler. It all started when my dad came home with a Duncan juggling kit, complete with balls and instructional video. Now I juggle everything in sight including flaming pine cones and snowballs.

Last but not least I unicycle. My father and brother use to ride the unicycle and it inspired me. It all started one day when my dad was at a thrift shop when BEHOLEDETH him a Schwinn unicycle. It was in terrible shape. The rest is history.
Now even though neither my dad nor my brother ride the unicycle I try to ride it every day.
Now let me sort out a common misconception...I am not a big, red-nosed clown riding around terrorizing children. I Muni! Which is simply mountain unicycling. I live on a dirt road where there is a trail that leads to what we call the "Pipe line". Which is a series of large hills that four wheelers, (And muni's) ride up and down.

So that's Ian in a nut shell. Besides sleeping (which is my favorite thing to do) eating and working on my conversion to Judaism.

Post at you later

Nerd out